allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
We don't watch enough power rangers
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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