just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
