so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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