he wants to bone in the snuggie
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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