How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
