okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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