The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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