Are we in a gay sports bar?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
