Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
