So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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