thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
