Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize