How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize