just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
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