just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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