I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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