Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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