Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
