I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
