Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize