That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
You took a bar mat shot.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Randomize
