where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
We're like a lot better than the average bears
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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