my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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