so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
