I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
