Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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