my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
