My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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