brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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