He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
