can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
