she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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