is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Is it because I queefed?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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