i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
