VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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