I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
