did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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