Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize