Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
