I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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