I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
