the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
worst night to have a conscience
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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