He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I should be sponsored by Trojan
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
