I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
