capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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