He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
