The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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