Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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