How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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