Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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