I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
