ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
