Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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