i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
