Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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