Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
