i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
