oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
