I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize