You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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