I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
