And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
