Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
