She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
she peed on how many people?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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